By Mel Sin for Yahoo! Southeast Asia – Thu, Apr 18, 2013 10:59 AM PHT
There are days when you feel your buttons are being pushed way too hard. But the last thing you want to do is detonate in bad language and angry gestures! So here you go – our tips on how you can keep cool in various situations and come out of it smiling (even if you were boiling inside to begin with!).
How to keep cool… with your kids
One for the moms: Like it or not, but kids can have a knack for bringing out the worst in adults. And it may seem easier to just give up and throw in the towel when dealing with a difficult child, or lose your temper, which isn’t exactly ideal.
So how do you keep your cool when your temper is red hot? Try this: Look at the situation in perspective. Your child may have a reason for lashing out or could be having an off day, which is completely normal as we are all entitled. So instead of being angry, take a breather and know that your child doesn’t intend to drive you crazy; he or she just needs a little more attention than before.
The other thing that works? Get goofy! Nothing works like being silly. This provides a great distraction and soon everyone–kid and you included–will forget why you’re angry in the first place. Sing a silly song, dance crazily, or just have a tickle fest. It works all the time.
How to keep your cool… with annoying colleagues
We all have them–annoying colleagues who just say the wrong thing and do the darnest thing to get on our nerves. From not meeting their end of the bargain to simply not knowing when to shut up, we don’t blame you if there are days when you feel like using the tape to seal your colleague’s mouth shut.
Wait, let go of that masking tape and opt out of violence instead. You don’t want to blow up and be known as the “Crazy One” at work. First things first, to remain calm and to keep your composed professional self–breathe. While your first instinct may be to snap back at your colleague, you’re better off stepping back and taking a deep breath instead. This buys you time to stop you from saying something you will regret. If you must, vent to a friend (someone completely out of your working zone) over a cup of coffee. Just being able to let it all out can do wonders to your mood.
Still annoyed? Find your happy place. Whether it is a few minutes on your favorite website or moving on to the next level on Candy Crush, taking time out will distract you from what’s bothering you in the first place, lets you ease your stress, and help you get back to work in a better mood.
How to keep your cool… when fighting with your partner
You’re both raising your voices and tempers are rising. But before that fight with your boyfriend or your husband turns into an all-out argument where you’ll both regret the things that come out from your mouth, try this.
In the article Fighting Happily Ever After by Elizabeth Bernstein from online.wsj.com, Dr. Howard Markman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver as well as co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage, calls it the “speaker-listener technique”. In this technique, Bernstein explains that Dr. Howard suggests “couples who have adisagreement should call a couple’s meeting, set a time limit of 15 minutes, and discuss the issue at hand. He even suggests flipping a coin to see who gets to speak first.”
After stating your piece, you should then give your partner the chance to speak, explaining one’s position. “A lot of times, all you need is to be listened to,” says Dr. Markman. Through this exercise, the resolution will then become obvious, says the good doctor. If not? It’s time to schedule another meeting.
Remember the few golden rules of fighting: don’t make it personal, stop trying to win all the time, and make sure to listen. You’ll soon realize that the argument was for nothing.
SOURCE: http://ph.she.yahoo.com/how-to-keep-your-cool-025922523.html;_ylt=Av7TGF48BXwn.FP_v1TeUD2OPmJH;_ylu=X3oDMTNrZ2pqNTFtBG1pdAMEcGtnAzZmZmU4ZTg2LTczZDctMzc4MS04Yjk5LWQyYzU0NTM2ODhmOQRwb3MDNARzZWMDTWVkaWFNb3NhaWNMaXN0TFBDQQR2ZXIDNmNhYzgzNzEtYjMxMC0xMWUyLWJmZmUtY2E5YWE4NWVjMGE3;_ylg=X3oDMTBhaWE5ZXVuBGxhbmcDZW4tUEg-;_ylv=3
Friday, May 24, 2013
Love in the Facebook Era
By Tatin Yang for Yahoo! Southeast Asia – Wed, Apr 17, 2013 4:11 PM PHT
Nowadays, most of the mundane and significant moments in our lives are broadcasted simultaneously on our social media networks, whether it be Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Even though you haven't seen your friend from elementary or high school, somehow you know what he's eaten for lunch, what his wife or girlfriend looks like or how fast his baby has grown.
In this era of unfiltered and instantaneous sharing, romantic relationships have naturally been affected by the presence of social networks. In some countries for example, app developers have created social networks such as app Between. Described as a "private space for couples", Between lets the twosome interact with messages, voice mails and photo album, chronicling their relationship timeline in their own little space. Of course, not all couples are discreet like that. How else do we get our lunch time entertainment when couples on our feed get into heated public fights on Facebook?
If companies now base employment on how one conducts himself on social networks, it stands to reason that any potential dates you may have had already scoped out your activities on Twitter/Facebook, and sometimes if they don't like what they see they may end up not pushing through with the date.
Here are the 10 commandments on how to survive relationships in the age of Facebook.
1. Thou shalt not overly flaunt your brand-new relationship. We all have this friend. The one who suddenly decides to create just one account for her and her new honey. She posts nothing but couple shots, happy selfies and love quotes. We get it, you're in love. We don't need a blow by blow account though.
2. Thou shalt not stalk the ex and his new girlfriend. While it's perfectly human to want to find out what's going on with your ex since you broke up, it's not the best idea to make it a daily habit. If you can't seem to kick the habit of researching him, enlist the help of your friends and keep yourself busy. If you don't feel like defriending him, hide his posts until you feel like you've truly moved on.
3. Thou shalt not proclaim your bitterness to the world. So the two of you broke up and he was a giant jerk about it. It doesn't mean that you should inform everyone in full detail (with photos) how big a jerk he was. Not only will this make your common friends uncomfortable, it will only make him think he "dodged a bullet" when you go all woman-scorned-hear-me-roar online.
4. Keep your photos SFW (safe for work) or make sure to utilize Facebook's privacy settings. You don't want your boyfriend's mom (or grandma) to see the two of you frolicking on the beach.
5. Thou shalt not flood your friends' timelines with sap.
6. Going on a blind date? Employ the golden rule by not posting anything on your social networks something that is likely to turn you off if you see it on his.
7. Don't add his friends and relatives on Facebook unless you've already met them or if you've been dating for more than three months.
8. Don't use social media to check up on your significant other and pick a fight with him over it.
9. Nor should you demand he take down photos, messages--any sign of existence of his ex on his social networks. Wouldn't it be sweeter if he did it all on his own?
10. Don't demand for him to change his relationship status to "in a relationship."
SOURCE: http://ph.she.yahoo.com/love-in-the-facebook-era-081125110.html;_ylt=ApTaDr9vMi8PxTsnI5Qoro.OPmJH;_ylu=X3oDMTNsOWdxNGo0BG1pdAMEcGtnAzM2NThiZWFhLTVmNWItMzQ4Ny05MzNkLTcwODNhODliYjFjYgRwb3MDMTkEc2VjA01lZGlhTW9zYWljTGlzdExQQ0EEdmVyA2Q2NGQ3OGQzLWE3Y2EtMTFlMi1hZmRmLTRhZDlhZmI4YTI0ZA--;_ylg=X3oDMTBhaWE5ZXVuBGxhbmcDZW4tUEg-;_ylv=3
Nowadays, most of the mundane and significant moments in our lives are broadcasted simultaneously on our social media networks, whether it be Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Even though you haven't seen your friend from elementary or high school, somehow you know what he's eaten for lunch, what his wife or girlfriend looks like or how fast his baby has grown.
In this era of unfiltered and instantaneous sharing, romantic relationships have naturally been affected by the presence of social networks. In some countries for example, app developers have created social networks such as app Between. Described as a "private space for couples", Between lets the twosome interact with messages, voice mails and photo album, chronicling their relationship timeline in their own little space. Of course, not all couples are discreet like that. How else do we get our lunch time entertainment when couples on our feed get into heated public fights on Facebook?
If companies now base employment on how one conducts himself on social networks, it stands to reason that any potential dates you may have had already scoped out your activities on Twitter/Facebook, and sometimes if they don't like what they see they may end up not pushing through with the date.
Here are the 10 commandments on how to survive relationships in the age of Facebook.
1. Thou shalt not overly flaunt your brand-new relationship. We all have this friend. The one who suddenly decides to create just one account for her and her new honey. She posts nothing but couple shots, happy selfies and love quotes. We get it, you're in love. We don't need a blow by blow account though.
2. Thou shalt not stalk the ex and his new girlfriend. While it's perfectly human to want to find out what's going on with your ex since you broke up, it's not the best idea to make it a daily habit. If you can't seem to kick the habit of researching him, enlist the help of your friends and keep yourself busy. If you don't feel like defriending him, hide his posts until you feel like you've truly moved on.
3. Thou shalt not proclaim your bitterness to the world. So the two of you broke up and he was a giant jerk about it. It doesn't mean that you should inform everyone in full detail (with photos) how big a jerk he was. Not only will this make your common friends uncomfortable, it will only make him think he "dodged a bullet" when you go all woman-scorned-hear-me-roar online.
4. Keep your photos SFW (safe for work) or make sure to utilize Facebook's privacy settings. You don't want your boyfriend's mom (or grandma) to see the two of you frolicking on the beach.
5. Thou shalt not flood your friends' timelines with sap.
6. Going on a blind date? Employ the golden rule by not posting anything on your social networks something that is likely to turn you off if you see it on his.
7. Don't add his friends and relatives on Facebook unless you've already met them or if you've been dating for more than three months.
8. Don't use social media to check up on your significant other and pick a fight with him over it.
9. Nor should you demand he take down photos, messages--any sign of existence of his ex on his social networks. Wouldn't it be sweeter if he did it all on his own?
10. Don't demand for him to change his relationship status to "in a relationship."
SOURCE: http://ph.she.yahoo.com/love-in-the-facebook-era-081125110.html;_ylt=ApTaDr9vMi8PxTsnI5Qoro.OPmJH;_ylu=X3oDMTNsOWdxNGo0BG1pdAMEcGtnAzM2NThiZWFhLTVmNWItMzQ4Ny05MzNkLTcwODNhODliYjFjYgRwb3MDMTkEc2VjA01lZGlhTW9zYWljTGlzdExQQ0EEdmVyA2Q2NGQ3OGQzLWE3Y2EtMTFlMi1hZmRmLTRhZDlhZmI4YTI0ZA--;_ylg=X3oDMTBhaWE5ZXVuBGxhbmcDZW4tUEg-;_ylv=3
When It's Time To Let Go...
By Mel Sim for Yahoo! Southeast Asia – Mon, May 20, 2013 2:00 PM PHTSure, breaking up is hard to do. But staying in a relationship that is long over is even harder. How do you know when it’s time to let go and move on? Read on to find out.
1. If the thought of breaking up enters your mind more than once
Look, let’s not kid yourself–if you’re remotely thinking of breaking up, then there is something wrong with either the relationship or the fact that you don’t want to be in one. So whether it is because you’ve had a lot of arguments or if you’ve thought that “maybe it’s over”, then to be honest, your relationship is halfway through to its end game.
2. When you start paying more attention to someone else
Sure, we all notice a good looker and indulge in a little harmless flirting. But if you’re spending more time with that colleague or letting your eye wander a little too far, then perhaps it’s time to take a good look at your relationship and ask yourself why you’re not satisfied with your partner. But before you decide to jump onto another relationship bandwagon, please–end your current one so you don’t hurt anyone in the process.
Sure, we all notice a good looker and indulge in a little harmless flirting. But if you’re spending more time with that colleague or letting your eye wander a little too far, then perhaps it’s time to take a good look at your relationship and ask yourself why you’re not satisfied with your partner. But before you decide to jump onto another relationship bandwagon, please–end your current one so you don’t hurt anyone in the process.
Also read: Long-Distance Relationship Killers
3. You want kids. He doesn’t.
A healthy relationship is one where two people share the same values in life as well as future goals. So if your goal is to one day have a family while his is to travel around the world on a yacht till he’s 70, then Cupid, we have a problem. And it’s not just kids that could be the problem, it could be a list of other things like work goals, where to live, and even financial goals. So unless a compromise is met, it’s time to re-think if the relationship is worth staying in or it’s time to get out.
4. If you haven’t been happy for a long time
This one’s simple—if you haven’t been happy in your relationship and instead it’s making you sad all day, then why are you still in the relationship? Sure – relationships can go stale after a honeymoon period but if you’re depressed each day because of how your partner treats you then you’re better off picking yourself up from the relationship downer and walking out to look for something else that will put a smile on your face every morning.
3. You want kids. He doesn’t.
A healthy relationship is one where two people share the same values in life as well as future goals. So if your goal is to one day have a family while his is to travel around the world on a yacht till he’s 70, then Cupid, we have a problem. And it’s not just kids that could be the problem, it could be a list of other things like work goals, where to live, and even financial goals. So unless a compromise is met, it’s time to re-think if the relationship is worth staying in or it’s time to get out.
4. If you haven’t been happy for a long time
This one’s simple—if you haven’t been happy in your relationship and instead it’s making you sad all day, then why are you still in the relationship? Sure – relationships can go stale after a honeymoon period but if you’re depressed each day because of how your partner treats you then you’re better off picking yourself up from the relationship downer and walking out to look for something else that will put a smile on your face every morning.
Also read: Hot Recipes For A Sizzling Relationship
And no, we’re not talking about dangerous fun that spices up your love life but instead, if your partner is being abusive both physically and emotionally. These should not be tolerated and should be your first alarm bell when it’s time to call it quits.
6. When you don’t trust him anymore
He cheated on you. You give him a second chance but each time he gets a phone call, you instantly think he’s cheating on you. Do you really want to be in a relationship where you are constantly doubting your partner’s love and respect for you? What’s the point of being in a relationship where you have to constantly keep an eye on your partner’s every move? Let go and be free of suspicion. You deserve more than that.
Also read: His Annoying Behavior--Decoded
Maybe your family or friends are giving you pressure, telling you that you’d be a fool to leave your partner. Whatever the reason, staying in a relationship just because others say you should is not the way to happiness. Nobody else—except you and your partner—should have a say about what goes on in the relationship. Ultimately, you should be in control of your own happiness—listen to your heart and not what others have to say.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)